Sunday, July 24, 2011

Feelin' Lucky? I know I haven't written in a while, but I am assuming that no one really reads this blog, and that the only reason I keep up with it, is because I have somewhere to put my thoughts "on paper" and there is the slight hope someone, somewhere is reading this and getting something out of it...
even if the something is only "this girl is not as funny as she thinks"

p.s. this post is about my don't read on if you don't want to feel all mushy-gushy inside from the sweet things I write.

June and July have been extremely busy...not just for me but for my man! He has been gone for...lets count, about 5 weeks. I have been on one trip with him, so we will take the count to 4 weeks...but still that is a long time! Don't get me wrong, I love the fact that he is in love with his job, and cares so much about the youth and what they are doing and every time I see him with the youth or hear them talk about him...I know it is what God had planned for him all along....I still miss him like crazy when we are apart. 

He always says "a week isn't that won't know I left" but what he doesn't realize is that I miss him all the time. NOW let me get something straight, I love my man but I love being apart from him too, and even though I miss him when we are apart, I know being apart is good, and yes I will admit, I like it sometimes too. It makes you remember why you miss him when he is gone, it makes you remember why you want to be with him the majority of the time...time apart is good.

that doesn't mean I always want time apart.
You are probably thinking...what is she talking about? this doesn't make sense...
I am a woman, we are

Even though I miss him so much sometimes I think I can really feel my heart hurting, I am so proud of the man he is, how dedicated he is to his job, and I remember how lucky I am to be with him.. And now that I have graduated (still not really believing that happened) I will be able to go on a lot more youth events with him...which he is just a bonus to going on youth events...the main thrill is the youth group. 

I love our youth group...especially the girls (no offense boys)
The girls are amazing, I have always seen it, but recently I have grown a lot closer to the majority of them and I love them so much!
here is why....

I was able to go Church Camp this year once again, it was my 15th year...and easily a top 5 favorite year in my book. I had a great cabin of 7th and 8th grade girls, with a great co-counselor, but the best part was getting to go to the late-night devos with the girls.

 I was reminded of how much a young girl goes through in high school and how tough it is being a christian, a teenager, and a girl. On the first night I went, some of the girls were talking about bad relationships they have been and I was compelled to tell them my past...
I spoke to the girls about my previous relationship not a lot of people know about. And I wont go in to details here, but I told them sometimes you are meant to go through crap, and bad spots in life to realize what you really deserve and need. 

I went through an awful relationship to realize that what I needed was a honest, silly, loving, sweet, crazy, fully devoted to God man. And I found him. (you may not know is that my man is the youth's youth minister)
 When I talked about him in the way I see him, they were all so happy that I shared and they said they knew he was great but not that he was so great to me. One girl said it made her so happy to know him and be around him, because it has helped her to see what kind of man she needs in her just like him. 

Then the girls started telling me how much they appreciate me and my man's relationship and how we are a great example of a christian relationship...even now I am tearing up because it meant so much to hear that. Me and my man have not has the best "warm welcome" by some when we first started dating, and even were told by several people it was wrong for us to date...and hearing what the girls thought of our relationship made me feel so blessed to be there with them. 

I normally do not care what people think about me and his relationship, but hearing that the girls saw us a good example made my heart spill over with love for each of them. I try so hard to be a good example to all the young girls, because I know exactly what they are going through, and to hear that I am doing something right, made me so happy. and to know that what I am doing right is loving my man, made it even better. 

God works in mysterious ways, you have to go through the crap and hard times to find what he really has in store for you...God put those people in me and my man's life to make our relationship stronger and for us to know we depend on each other. God showed me the "ugly" side of those people in the beginning to know the beautiful side when I saw it (heard it). I am so incredibly blessed in a million ways to have my man in my life. and I thank God every day for him. He has brought me so much, including strengthening my relationship with God. He has taught me to love myself for who I am...clumsy, emotional, short, stubborn me. He has taught me it's ok to cry when you are upset, but then grow stronger. He has shown me to be confident in who we are as a couple and to always lean on him and most of all lean on God. 
God will get me through anything and everything
and I know that because of my man. 

He is a teacher, a youth minister, silly, sweet, weird, random, caring, and my best friend. 
And I am truly the luckiest to have in him my life. 

so look around and see what makes you...
feel lucky

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