well tomorrow is the big day...it is crazy!!! I am graduating from college...I don't know what to say, it seems like yesterday I was moving to Clarksville all by myself to take on college and now I am leaving with a degree and maybe a bit wiser? I can't believe it is happening...it has gone by so fast...but really it still hasn't hit me yet...I am not sure when it actually will, maybe when I am getting ready........actually I think it is hitting me right now!
My stomach is tightening, my palms are sweating I.....am.....nervous! Not nervous about tomorrow so much, I am excited about that, but I think it is more of nervous of the unsure, nervous of the what comes next? What if I never find a job...what if I am going to be one of those college graduates who just work at Mcdonalds forever!?Okay I know I am little fast to jump to that judgement, because number one I wouldn't apply to a job at Mcdonalds unless there was absolutely NOTHING else. But that kind of stuff happens all the time right? People cant find anything in this job market and end up just working where they can find any opening. I am all for making money and providing for yourself but I want to work somewhere I will love and preferably somewhere I went to school for. I know I will be fine financially but I want to work somewhere that I have dreamed about somewhere that will make me proud to say this is my job but then what if it never happens what if I Loren become a failure, a loser, a big, fat nobody....
I guess I am just scared nothing will happen but then I need to remember that no matter what happens (or doesn't happen) I still have people who love me: my family, my man, and most of all God! I know that no matter what comes my way or bypasses me I will be okay because God is holding my hand guiding me on the right path. I will be okay....I will be okay....I WILL be okay....I will BE okay....I will be OKAY...I WILL BE OKAY!
(if I say it enough it will happen right?)
I don't think I can write anymore because I am not sure what exactly to say...because I am speechless, well not speechless just not sure how I am feeling right now. But trust me after tomorrow it will all spill out and believe it or not I will be fine, I will survive, I will move on, I will close this chapter of my life...
I will be okay!
No comments:
Post a Comment